A Meditation

I haven't written to myself in a while, which may reflect a degree of chaos. I'm reading several books working to deconstruct the memoir. Two of the books I'm reading are Sadaawi's The Daughter of Isis, as well as, Edward Said's Out of Place. We anticipate doing our final on the latter. Sadaawi's work really has to a degree pulled me in. I haven't touch'd on the affinity i have towards it. I do want my daughters to find their voice, their space, in this life, and Sadaawi with her entrance into the world came with resistance....

Where is my fight?

The question was asked to me, "Should the Muslims build a masjid at the site of 911." My first thought was what group, meaning Afro-American or immigrant, was responsible for the endeavor? I believe it to be an insensitive move. If I'm a black man in American, and the condition of blacks is what it is pertaining to education, unemployment, incarceration, and so forth, when I become Muslim does my fight become Iraq or Afghanistan? Has the civil rights movement ended for black America? Have we gain'd the equality that we've been striving for subsequent to the emancipation proclamation. I understand the ideal of Islam; however, there exist the ideal and the real. I believe the Muslims strive for the Islam represented in the stars and trees which is something they will never attain. We as blacks are an undeveloped group and have not addressed completely the condition of our psyche even with coming into Islam....

Liberty or Death

My Modernism influence says the title has nothing to do with the piece. We're pondering on the idea of an individual truly wanting peace in their life. What is it that will not allow an individual to let progess happen? I understand one sabotaging his own success; however, I believe one can become healthy psychologically; atleast work towards it consciously. To not want to bring drama to one's life; to want to aid and assist....

The Month of Ramadan

The best guest is coming. It is a time to dust our homes and bring out our best character. It is a time to be conscious of the moment; reflect; ponder on the past, present, and future. It is a time read love seclusion, read Qur'an, and give each letter its due respect. Peace in the margin, peace between each word we must find. With creation we must ourselves align.

A Parents Obligation

When does the obligation of a parent stop? I don't mean the love of a parent. I mean the responsibility a parent has to give a child-young adult-a sound foundation. We encourage them to get an education; however, we also demand they be financially responsible for themselves. Does the parents socio-economic status dictate their ideas to the child? If the parent didn't make the right decisions throughout his/her life does the child suffer; or, the childs education? We want to teach them responsibility by making them pay their own way; however, learning is a responsibility as well. I think we should teach the child to delay gratification and find redemption as a doctor, lawyer, or, even greater, in the academics....

Circle of Concern

My circle of concern is becoming smaller and smaller. I'm finding I have to find solace more and more in my reading and writing. I found myself wanting to share a thought with someone and really didn't have anyone that I thought would appreciate it. It went from feeling alienated to alienating. Maybe that's what it takes to get to where I want to be. I ask Allah to increase my love for seclusion; to be more in love with the dead poets and authors. I don't find any disease in their discourse; I don't feel a personal attack. I see works as an inspiration versus an impetus, resistance.

Hitting Against the Backboard

This is my way of hitting against the backboard when no one else is around. It's becoming hard for me to find constructive dialogue. More and more I have to turn to myself for the negation; or, turn to my books....Time is of the essence! School begins next month and it will demand more this level I'm approaching....

Impetuosity

I'm amazed at the impetuosity in the thinking of people. If they put any thought at all. I think what saddens me is not that there are people who don't know; but, that there are so many that are unaware. That they will try and defend this nonsensical quality. This is what I love about literature, it challenges one's ideas. It brings the negation. I sure I have express'd before the most detrimental thing to man is conventional wisdom. Following the majority.

Efficiency

I patronized a market today and noticed there were no employees working the front end. It was all modernized. You did everything yourself and your change was exact. What could be more efficient? Should I see this as a bad thing? That modernization is or has put people out of work; or, should I examine where I fit into the scheme of this thing. This is where the dis-harmony within people comes from. The not knowing where they fit into this shift. The lack of healthy direction. Constructive thought. Where does knowing the probability of 1 represents certainty exist in the makeup of one's psyche? I think often about how people, atleast within my circle, neglect constructive thought. We work to build a healthy body; a healthy retirement; however, I don't hear the dialogue for a healthy psyche. In fact, I see more of a discouragement of it. That what we use to call peer pressure as children. That doesn't stop as an adult within a sick mind....

Road Trip

I'm looking to give my blog a bit more attention. I'm using it as a type of therapy; too, to just be able to trace the steps in my thought process. Mecca and I are planning a trip to LA this coming week. We hope to see Malibu an anticipate seeing the (in)famous Gladstone's. However, I'm too excited about seeing Pepperdine University and exposing Mecca to it as well. It's tragic that growing up in California I never visit'd a college campus. I believe no place exist with more schools of higher learner than California. It's sad as well that not anyone felt compelled to even suggest that I visit a campus for other reasons than a football game. I can recall not planning on going to college my freshman year of high school; but, at the same time, I can remember always looking up that hill, of Pepperdine, and wanting to know what was up there. It was something of an enigma. I don't want a University-education-to be foreign to my girls. I want them to feel at home with education. Where everything else is a distant second. I had to have that attitude to get as far as I have in school; and, I want to impress a psychology that this education thing is not for a job, but to gian understanding-and I say that with caution-and a forum for expression....

Resistance II

The title of this post has nothing to do with its content. That's the influence of Modernism on my writing. I'm pondering more on the subject of accounts. Those instances that allow you to become closer to wholeness. Those encounters, readings-I had to stop and think-those moments that the unfortunate miss. The accounts Wordsworth suggest'd help'd to shape his creativity. I don't think fear determines my movements. There still exist a wanting of certainty; to eliminate any source of doubt.

After Some Reflection

I haven't written, or gave attention, to my blog in a while. That may be why I'm experiencing the dis-harmony that I've noticed within myself. It is not the attention to the blog obviously that brings the harmony, but the writing. The attention to self. I've been telling myself alot lately about incorporating more the habit of writing; the habit of dialogue with the self. There is no doubt that this would be more constructive than some of my frequent encounters. I'm looking forward to my visit to the ocean this coming week. I'm looking forward to bonding with Mecca; but ,too, I'm looking forward to gazing at the ocean and re-creating that energy; re-connceting with the source; re-aligning myself with the Most High Intelligence. This is what will be required to move to that next level; that next phase; that higher stratum.

A Reflection...

This thing of immediacy is a constant negation. I'm now seeing the resistance as a negation to the I (that self-consciousness). One not only has to acknowledge the Other, but, he should love it as well. As Derrida would assert, there is no differing the differance....

The Dialectic

Presently, I'm laboring at understanding Hegel's dialectic and its relation to selfhood. I have to ask the question, is the acknowledgement from the Other, similar to, or run in the same vein of Derrida's differring the differance. In essence, is it acknowledgement that makes us healthy? Does that make the Kantian "I" whole? Is that what ultimately creates the restlessness in resistance?

Will...

I'm sitting here reflecting on the will it's going ultimately to take to attain a Phd. The patience; the persistence; moreover, the fortitude. There has to be a will to want to go in a student and come out of the fight a doctor. To enter a student and emerge a colleague. To leave behind, maybe, eighty or so percent of the population. This is my goal over the next several years. For no other reason than I can. To challenge myself and those behind me. To eventually emerge a voice for the Other; a voice for the marginalized; a voice for the disfigured.

The Debate on Arabic in the Mosque....

I find it absurd that there are American Muslims debating the use of English in the Masjid. Who is the spokesperson for the American Muslims? Have we moved so far away from sanity that we don't even care to understand what is said in the Jumu'ah; more importantly, with language there is an element of culture that comes with it. There are many muslims (African-Americans) that believe the sunnah, the way of the prophet (s), means to follow, literally, the way of the prophet; without really examining the principles that are prescribed. To implement totally the Arabic language in Jumu'ah or the masjid period would ultimately mean to implement an Arab psyche/psychology....regardless how much Arabic is learn'd, if one cannot THINK, one will still remain in the primitive ages. If one is born of Arabic speaking parents, one should learn there language to instill a knowledge of self; but, to think it's an obligation from God, only instills more spookism to the faith!

Solitude...

I may have express'd this thought before, but I'm wanting to spend more time alone. I'm finding a comfort with my own self. I'm allowing others' ideas to create a restless spirit that I'm growing impatient with. The fragment of cowardice that is part of those Beings; this idea of mediocrity that people work to defend....

Understanding

My daughter and I shared a moment this evening discussing higher education. The topic of home schooling came up in the conversation. She asked the question, or made the statement, "Would I want to be the teacher if she was to become home school'd?" After reflecting for a moment, I responded, "I may not be able, or qualified, to teach you in certain subjects; however, without someone giving you some understanding on how to connect most subjects with life, then you'll be as lost as the rest. And that I'm qualified to do." Regardless how high one learns the discipline of mathematics, the absolute principles that math covers, if one cannot connect it with the tax game of economics, then there doesn't exist any understanding. Or if one learns the subject of English, but doesn't have the fortitude, or will, to give up one of the classics, not for entertainment, but to gain insight from the original source....

Self-Revelation

I'm considering beginning to write (type) more essays. For the purpose of self-revelation. To act as a medium for dialectical discourse with self. I must start considering more my part in the negotiations with events. That which validates my existence, my Being.

On Sublimity

My hijrah must be more than just from bad to good; too, it must be from the vulgar to the sublime. What has dwarf'd man's ideas of greatness? Why has he settled for soundness in his mediocrity versus risk to attain his natural state. I know with certainty that there was no mediocrity in the ocean. Man with the state of doubt grapples. I must conceptualize my writing to a corpus; however, in it beget life. Allow the true geniuses to be the judge...

The Social Contract

I'm presently reading Rousseau's The Social Contract and coming to understand the origin of our Constitution. Not just our Constitution, however, the origin of a constitution established to be in accords with man's natural state. How does one think so profound to come up with his own thought? Not to be influenced by anyone before? What does it take to go there? Socrates discussing the oak tree is my experience with the vastness of the ocean. It said, "Know not mediocrity." I have to get away from being afraid to let restraints go...To truly be classified as a free man. Allowing the only authority to be reason.