2009

I'm looking forward to this coming year. I plan to attend graduate college subsequent to graduating in May. I hope to go into the new year thinking more progressive. I think the year will require more critical, along with, more dynamic thought. We have to struggle through our psychological limitations. For one, that's all they are. Presently, things are peaceful in my life. I have to expand this moment...

Conventional Wisdom

It's amazing how people try to make sense out of conventional wisdom. I mean when one's source of information comes from the majority. I'm coming to know, although the economy is in the state that it's in, one at the same time has to check his logic on how he approaches life. Some see these times as opportunity. The difference between these two individuals is their knowledge base. I hear so many students worried about student loans; and, one should be concerned with the responsibility of paying them back. Yet, I never hear anyone mentioning using the loans in a constructive way to put themselves in a better situation. One can invest, if his situation allows it, some of the proceeds from a loan. One doesn't have to wait till he/she graduates to begin to repay the loan. Many have sold property and repaid the loan in one installment. People really need to survey their psychology like a business-at the end of every day.

Taking a Survey

How often should one survey one's life? Like a business, should it be done at the end of the day? Muslims pray five times daily, should it be done at those given times? I realize my education is constantly moving me forward. I'll graduate in the Spring and go directly into grad school. One's life should be that way across the board. A constant progression. Some people put emphasis on the relationship of the family. I believe it is significant, however, don't let it be because there is no choice. Because of the decisions one has made, there is nothing one can do about his/her economic situation. Since there is no control of one's economic situation, one begins to put emphasis on the family at that point. I don't believe that is a healthy progression. We have to constantly be moving forward. We have to constantly know where we are situated amongst all centers.

The Tao of Pooh

I've recently picked up two copies of The Tao of Pooh for my daughter and myself. It's given me a more simple understanding of the way. By not resisting what is. Trying to really find the essence of creation; but, not getting it confused with essentialism. I know for me to be at my best I must know what I bring to this chess game. My strengths as well as weaknesses...

Space

I'm learning through the writing of Hart Crane it's about finding the space. what it takes to find it. You do what you have to do, say what you have to say. Being ridiculous, being embarressed, transgressing all those containers allows one to get inside that space and expand it. I'm becoming redundent writing about transgression; but, that's where i'm at. They, who ever they are, crossed all titles. Ah! to love someone is to want them to be. I must know that.

The Presidential Debate

I was not totally observant throughout the debate this evening. The one comment I did hear I feel the public should ponder is Obama's remark of the opportunity in the state of the economy. This idea of change is what one has to do with his psychology. In other words, the old fundamental philosophy that permeates throughout the worldview of the masses may not work; the job, education, retirement, religion. How do we look at these institutions and what is the foundation of one's notions built on? This is what the dialogue has to be about. First with one's self, family, and then a look at ones' infrastructure.

"Way, Way, Heavy"

Some times I don't know what I want to write. I just want to write. Something! More like something. At times, it gets loud in my head. I still feel out there on that existential journey. I have to remember to stop for a moment and just embrace the moment.

"Spontaneous Affirmation"

I'm trying to understand Kerouacs' notion of spontaneous affirmation." One struggles with conventions and that's what keeps one from reaching his/her potential. Conventions, conventional wisdom. My daughter asked me should she write, "he is the best daddy, or, you are the best daddy?" I responsed with, "what ever you feel!" This is spontaneous affirmation. How does one let go? How does one challenge himself to be free? Be free. Be free. I'm thinking now of being sober. Not in the idea of an intoxicant, but not high in my thinking. I, constantly look back for something that is not there. I hate it. Human frailty.