Friday, July 30, 2010

Circle of Concern

My circle of concern is becoming smaller and smaller. I'm finding I have to find solace more and more in my reading and writing. I found myself wanting to share a thought with someone and really didn't have anyone that I thought would appreciate it. It went from feeling alienated to alienating. Maybe that's what it takes to get to where I want to be. I ask Allah to increase my love for seclusion; to be more in love with the dead poets and authors. I don't find any disease in their discourse; I don't feel a personal attack. I see works as an inspiration versus an impetus, resistance.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Hitting Against the Backboard

This is my way of hitting against the backboard when no one else is around. It's becoming hard for me to find constructive dialogue. More and more I have to turn to myself for the negation; or, turn to my books....Time is of the essence! School begins next month and it will demand more this level I'm approaching....

Monday, July 26, 2010


I'm amazed at the impetuosity in the thinking of people. If they put any thought at all. I think what saddens me is not that there are people who don't know; but, that there are so many that are unaware. That they will try and defend this nonsensical quality. This is what I love about literature, it challenges one's ideas. It brings the negation. I sure I have express'd before the most detrimental thing to man is conventional wisdom. Following the majority.

Sunday, July 11, 2010


I patronized a market today and noticed there were no employees working the front end. It was all modernized. You did everything yourself and your change was exact. What could be more efficient? Should I see this as a bad thing? That modernization is or has put people out of work; or, should I examine where I fit into the scheme of this thing. This is where the dis-harmony within people comes from. The not knowing where they fit into this shift. The lack of healthy direction. Constructive thought. Where does knowing the probability of 1 represents certainty exist in the makeup of one's psyche? I think often about how people, atleast within my circle, neglect constructive thought. We work to build a healthy body; a healthy retirement; however, I don't hear the dialogue for a healthy psyche. In fact, I see more of a discouragement of it. That what we use to call peer pressure as children. That doesn't stop as an adult within a sick mind....

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Road Trip

I'm looking to give my blog a bit more attention. I'm using it as a type of therapy; too, to just be able to trace the steps in my thought process. Mecca and I are planning a trip to LA this coming week. We hope to see Malibu an anticipate seeing the (in)famous Gladstone's. However, I'm too excited about seeing Pepperdine University and exposing Mecca to it as well. It's tragic that growing up in California I never visit'd a college campus. I believe no place exist with more schools of higher learner than California. It's sad as well that not anyone felt compelled to even suggest that I visit a campus for other reasons than a football game. I can recall not planning on going to college my freshman year of high school; but, at the same time, I can remember always looking up that hill, of Pepperdine, and wanting to know what was up there. It was something of an enigma. I don't want a University-education-to be foreign to my girls. I want them to feel at home with education. Where everything else is a distant second. I had to have that attitude to get as far as I have in school; and, I want to impress a psychology that this education thing is not for a job, but to gian understanding-and I say that with caution-and a forum for expression....

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Resistance II

The title of this post has nothing to do with its content. That's the influence of Modernism on my writing. I'm pondering more on the subject of accounts. Those instances that allow you to become closer to wholeness. Those encounters, readings-I had to stop and think-those moments that the unfortunate miss. The accounts Wordsworth suggest'd help'd to shape his creativity. I don't think fear determines my movements. There still exist a wanting of certainty; to eliminate any source of doubt.

After Some Reflection

I haven't written, or gave attention, to my blog in a while. That may be why I'm experiencing the dis-harmony that I've noticed within myself. It is not the attention to the blog obviously that brings the harmony, but the writing. The attention to self. I've been telling myself alot lately about incorporating more the habit of writing; the habit of dialogue with the self. There is no doubt that this would be more constructive than some of my frequent encounters. I'm looking forward to my visit to the ocean this coming week. I'm looking forward to bonding with Mecca; but ,too, I'm looking forward to gazing at the ocean and re-creating that energy; re-connceting with the source; re-aligning myself with the Most High Intelligence. This is what will be required to move to that next level; that next phase; that higher stratum.