Coming into Wholeness!

I'm more coming to learn-to understand-that my journey is about coming into wholeness. Bringing the parts together and coming to terms with with who I am. Now this trip begins. Going into this new year I anticipate being much more cognizant of time. Being more responsible, more free, and more accountable.

Cultural Studies...

Presently, I'm reading authors that have influenced the discipline of Cultural Studies. I believe it is within the framework of Post Colonial Studies; furthermore, I've begun to spend some intimate time in the reading of Adler's How To Read A Book. He brings back the memory of when I recieved a letter from a girlfriend during my incarceration. I don't think-I know I haven't-read anything as intimate as I had read the letters from her. I read the letters over and over in every way. I studied the letters, the choice of words, and even how she punctuated the sentences. I'm realizing, this is reading. Not just trying to understand what she was saying, however, trying to empathize with what she was experiencing and trying to express, or communicate, through these symbols of words.

National Consciousness

I just finish'd reading Fanon's The Pitfalls of National Consciousness taken from The Wretched of the Earth. The picture that Fanon delineated I see so vividly in the African-American/Black Islamic Community; that underdeveloped nation, that gained its independence, but lacks the vision, the power, the intellect, that brought its colonizer into power. Are they conscious of the literature of combat? Resistance? I see that intermediary, that host, that has taken its position in line. I'm slowly coming to know my position as a revolutionary intellectual; however, still, I must define my own existence.

Wholeness....

I'm beginning to know, with that distinct certainty, academics contains my solace. Desperate for wholeness I give time to smaller minds...I get frustrated. How do you convey to one that you're looking for something in the anticipation? The anticipation between a title and a first line; the anticipation after the end of a sentence, moving back to the beginning of the next. Still, I stop to think what to type; when what I'm looking for is in the words that I freely, without thinking about it, put out. The positioning is constant....

Things are Calm

It's a beautiful, peaceful, calm, morning within. One has to remind his or herself to be conscious of the past, present, and future, simultaneously. My world of academics is weighty. I say that cautiously with a look of ponderance; however, it represents a good, challenging weight. There is no option, no plan B, to attend graduate college. The question is at what cost? What sacrifice? It's requiring more. It's requiring more throughout the whole circle of influence; however, IT CAN BE DONE! There can be know doubt....

Growth...

This represents the beginning of a new and final semester as an undergrad. I feel life in school. I have to examine that, because there are other elements that should bring that same feeling; thus, family and faith. I know it is school that is moving me toward my immediate goal: a master's degree. Ultimately, i anticipate a Phd in Post-Colonial Studies. This is something, no doubt, I see within the next five to six years. Everything from here on must take a back seat. The positioning is constant. We continually fight, race, position ourselves, to know our place existentially within this existence.

Colonialism and Islam

Concentrating on Post-Colonial Studies I meditate often on its relation to Islam. Better yet, how colonialism has effected our perception of self, which effects the individuals interpretation of Islam. I encourage listeners often to retrace their steps to the origin of their logic. The premises which it stands on. Ideally, we know Qur'an expresses, "No muslim is better than another...;" however, in the actual world, still we suffer from the disfiguring, the mis-representation, of our perception. There hasn't been enough dialogue, in my opinion, addressing this issue...